True Stories of Motherhood and Wifedoom

The truth and comedy of being a wife and mother

What a Day

I hate being late. 
Now that I’ve been married for over a year and have had a child for five months, being early or even on time is a foreign concept to me. I mean now I have three strikes (let’s play into stereotypes) against me. 
One, I’m black; common knowledge that I will be exactly on time. Two, my husband’s black and a male; common knowledge that time management is low on the priority list unless it is a life or death situation. Three, it is common knowledge that having a child makes you excusably late. No matter how I try to trick my husband and myself and/or Darren; we never seem to leave on time. Actually, we always miss the mark by ten or fifteen minutes. Talk about frustrating.
What’s more frustrating is living in the country and being late; completely different concept than being late when you’re living a city. Living in the city and being late, means ‘oh, my alarm forgot to ring, but it only takes me ten minutes to get to work.’
Being late in the country: ‘Oh, my alarm forgot to go off AND it takes me a HALF AN HOUR to get to work. AND I have to make a TEN minute detour for a FIVE minute drive to daycare?” Insert expletive it you think it’s necessary. 
On to the lighter side of things, Darren peed our bed this morning. 
While this is not as comical as Darren’s I-just-got-circumcised-and-tagged-Daddy-and-myself-in-the-eye situation, it is funny enough. Darren and Daddy have yet another ‘Peeing Story.’ It kinda goes like this.
5:50 a.m. Daddy and Darren wake up together and cuddle.
5:55 a.m. Daddy strips Darren of diaper and bottom half of his pajamas to change him, but leaves the fan running.
5:56 a.m. Daddy walks out into kitchen (supposedly to get a diaper) and bids is lovely beautiful wife good morning. He exits to the bathroom.
5:58 a.m. Mommy walks in to the bedroom to find her son smiling and happily aiming a golden arch onto the sheets. She exits to retrieve a diaper and on the way turns off the fan, the probable explanation for why he is peeing.
5:59 a.m. to 6:12 p.m. Mommy diapers and dresses Darren for the day, Dresses herself, leaves the peed on sheets to change later, feeds Darren a container of peaches and rice, gives Darren a bottle and puts his sweater on him. She thinks she’s the world best multitasker. 
Fast forward to 11:15 p.m. Mommy is typing her blog for the day. Daddy is watching TV and relaxing.
11:27 p.m. Mommy realizes Daddy has gone to bed on the peed on sheets. She debates for a while and decides to leave well enough alone. If he survived having pee in his eye he’ll survive laying in it for one night. 
                 Learning to cook a good apple pie.
Stayed tuned for my: Country Mama’s Menu!
check out this mommy blog that I enjoy!
            The Mommy Blog

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This entry was posted on September 30, 2010 by in Uncategorized.
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