True Stories of Motherhood and Wifedoom

The truth and comedy of being a wife and mother

Embracing My Clumsiness

Let me introduce you to the clumsiest person in the world. Yeah, that would be me. Hi world, howya doin’?
As you know it is customary for me to share my less than stellar moments on my blog. Today I won’t disappoint you. Actually, you’ll get two, no, three of these moments for the price of one.
For someone who can break into a pretty good groove on the dance floor, I have found that there is absolutely no translation of this gracefulness when it comes to every day actions; like walking or even holding things for that matter.
Yesterday illustrated this perfectly.
First, I walked into a swinging door. Yeah. And it wasn’t your usual full size door either. It was one of the short ‘bar’ doors that comes up to you waist; usually found by counters. My luck was that I walked straight into this swinging door right after someone had sung it open. So it didn’t harmlessly bounce off my thighs. Nope, it pretty much killed my left ovary. 
 I am seriously worried I won’t be able to produce the siblings I promised Darren he would have.
Second, I made a spectacle at my work’s family night and since it is ‘family’ night, my lovely hubby and Darren were with me. Darren, being the charmer that he is, was a complete hit. Me, on the other hand took the rap for Darren dropping his bottle, which would not have been so bad if it hadn’t been glass.
Yeah. I made the mistake of unathletically trying to catch it.
“Really, a glass bottle?” Cindalicious
“I would be really embarrassed right now if I were you.” The hubby pointed out with his customary grin.
“Who give a baby a glass bottle?” Some random guy.
Um. Yeah. I do. You got a problem with it? The clean up better than the plastic ones. 
The hubby keeps throwing his five cents in once I start mopping the mess up.
“Babe, are you sure you’ve mopped before?”
Cindalicous (the traitor) snorts and laughs. Obviously the hubby is a hit tonight to.  But she does get points for helping me sweep up the glass.
I wish it ended there. For those who stayed the show got better. Because a half an hour later I drop a cup of Lemon-Lime Lemonade slushy about two feet away from the shattered bottle incident.
Yeah, so I tolerated the jibes about the actual contents of the slushy and cleaned the mess up. The hubby adds a quarter to his ever present comment jar.
“I would like to say, that I am use to this. She is even worse at home.”
But really what took the cake about all these mishaps was this morning. 
The hubby woke up giggling.
When I asked him what was so funny he says he just remember what happened last night.
I just rolled my eyes. “Really, you know I’ve done worse, that was nothing.”
“Yeah, that was funny, but what was funnier was that you actually tried to keep the nipple from the bottle.” He says this with his man giggle.
Jeez. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. What a SA.
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This entry was posted on November 19, 2010 by in clumsiness, glass bottles, work.
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